Saturday, May 01, 2004
Erg - funny how I was dying to get back to work, and now that I'm going back Monday, I don't feel like I had much time off. Not like it was a highly enjoyable vacation - most of my friends were still writing exams, and poor Meg was sick. She's home now, at least! :)
I've been so bad with the running recently - since I seem to have booked every last second of my day to do other things - but I HAVE to go today. I have to!
I have red hair now - it's pretty.. uhh red... I feel like it suits my aggressive personality. At least, I think I'm aggressive. My hairdresser tried to warn me that RED isn't IN right now - but I felt like that was further provocation to do it. How are hair colours in style? What if you were naturally a redhead "You're not in style right now..." Silly.
Some famous redheads... (to analyze the dynamics of unnaturally red hair..)
Lola - from Run Lola Run - one of the cooler redheads running around the block.
MJ - from Spiderman. Can't say I'm a fan. Couldn't get by the sheer cheese of the movie - and her "I can't do anything for myself" character just annoyed me to death. It's pretty close to that colour though.
And finally, the one who made red hair cool back in the day - Clare Danes in My So Called Life.
The moral of the story is - anyone can be a red head - it just takes a lot of dye.
I've been so bad with the running recently - since I seem to have booked every last second of my day to do other things - but I HAVE to go today. I have to!
I have red hair now - it's pretty.. uhh red... I feel like it suits my aggressive personality. At least, I think I'm aggressive. My hairdresser tried to warn me that RED isn't IN right now - but I felt like that was further provocation to do it. How are hair colours in style? What if you were naturally a redhead "You're not in style right now..." Silly.
Some famous redheads... (to analyze the dynamics of unnaturally red hair..)
Lola - from Run Lola Run - one of the cooler redheads running around the block.
MJ - from Spiderman. Can't say I'm a fan. Couldn't get by the sheer cheese of the movie - and her "I can't do anything for myself" character just annoyed me to death. It's pretty close to that colour though.
And finally, the one who made red hair cool back in the day - Clare Danes in My So Called Life.
The moral of the story is - anyone can be a red head - it just takes a lot of dye.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
It's important to hold on to a sense of what's important to life - as it helps make you resilient to anything that life can throw at you.
The trip had to be cancelled - it was just getting to be too much - and as upsetting as that curveball is which fate chose to throw, it is, in a way, something which can happen to any of us. I hope that we'll be able to go at the end of the summer, and that's all I really can hold on to. It's really the fact that I won't get to spend the time with Megan that bothered me initially, but I'll make sure to visit her continuously during her illness - I have to remember that this doesn't really change anything.
Being able to put it aside is the next step of getting rid of materialism. While I have managed to get rid of most of my desires for materialistic goods, such as nice clothes, etc, I still confused stuff, physical objects, with the trip. The trip is also material - and although it's not a tangible thing, it is equally wrong to desire it and to believe that it would bring happiness.
Happiness comes from within. I realize this fully, and it's surprising how strong that very thought can make you feel.
Instead of not having control, I regained it.
I hope they let me start work next week - I feel like I really need something to do every day. I feel totally purposeless when I'm "on vacation" - I don't really like taking time off. I get bored within minutes... and can only really enjoy my social or break time when it is truly a break from work.
It's been a long day, I think it's time for bed.
The trip had to be cancelled - it was just getting to be too much - and as upsetting as that curveball is which fate chose to throw, it is, in a way, something which can happen to any of us. I hope that we'll be able to go at the end of the summer, and that's all I really can hold on to. It's really the fact that I won't get to spend the time with Megan that bothered me initially, but I'll make sure to visit her continuously during her illness - I have to remember that this doesn't really change anything.
Being able to put it aside is the next step of getting rid of materialism. While I have managed to get rid of most of my desires for materialistic goods, such as nice clothes, etc, I still confused stuff, physical objects, with the trip. The trip is also material - and although it's not a tangible thing, it is equally wrong to desire it and to believe that it would bring happiness.
Happiness comes from within. I realize this fully, and it's surprising how strong that very thought can make you feel.
Instead of not having control, I regained it.
I hope they let me start work next week - I feel like I really need something to do every day. I feel totally purposeless when I'm "on vacation" - I don't really like taking time off. I get bored within minutes... and can only really enjoy my social or break time when it is truly a break from work.
It's been a long day, I think it's time for bed.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
The more and more I think about it, the more and more Buddhism just connects with me. I doubt I could ever follow it truly as a religion and renounce all my worldly possessions, as the west is simply not conducive to being a wandering religious monk. However, it is possible to embrace it as a philosophy for life, a practise which is followed by most westerners.
In fundamental Buddhism, it is best practise to meditate and reflect upon all that is taught to you. I like this far better than blind faith, as we were given mental capabilities for a reason (ie to use them). It is not necessary to accept all of Buddhism for oneself, as it is an individual journey to enlightenment.
Most have advocated to buy books and to curl in a quiet corner to meditate. It is possible to learn via a teacher as well, but the book approach is direct. I'm looking for copy of the Pali Canon - but until then I'll read some more to get a sense of it.
You're not a Buddhist proper until you read, understand and accept the teachings - and until then it is simply a learning experience.
Not a bad way to spend my summer.
In fundamental Buddhism, it is best practise to meditate and reflect upon all that is taught to you. I like this far better than blind faith, as we were given mental capabilities for a reason (ie to use them). It is not necessary to accept all of Buddhism for oneself, as it is an individual journey to enlightenment.
Most have advocated to buy books and to curl in a quiet corner to meditate. It is possible to learn via a teacher as well, but the book approach is direct. I'm looking for copy of the Pali Canon - but until then I'll read some more to get a sense of it.
You're not a Buddhist proper until you read, understand and accept the teachings - and until then it is simply a learning experience.
Not a bad way to spend my summer.
Monday, April 26, 2004
It seems like some people have all the luck.
I finished my exams tonight. Like most people, I'm sort of excited about being done 3rd year. But more importantly, I can't help but feel really worried about my buddy, who has succumbed to just about the worst string of horrible luck I've ever heard of.
I'm really hoping to go see her tomorrow hopefully she'll be out of hospital - as I really miss her - it's been so long since I've even had a real conversation with her and feel terrible that I'm not there to hold her hand. The idea of ambulances arriving and stuff would scare me to bits, and it scares me even more to think of that happening to her.
Also, I know she's feeling a bit of that anxiety that I'm feeling about the trip - it's coming up so quickly... I thought I'd be slowly counting down the days and now I wish there was more time. Honestly, if anyone deserves this trip it's her, after what she's been through, and after all the extra hours she's put in and crap she's put up with to get here - and for it all to be for nothing - I've resolved to not go without her - she's so much more worthy of that break than I am!
But it's not an issue. I have some faith that her luck will turn, and she'll be back to her old self, albeit slightly more tired self, and be able to go. There's still time.
GO MEGAN GO!!! (Kick that nasty virus' ass!)
I finished my exams tonight. Like most people, I'm sort of excited about being done 3rd year. But more importantly, I can't help but feel really worried about my buddy, who has succumbed to just about the worst string of horrible luck I've ever heard of.
I'm really hoping to go see her tomorrow hopefully she'll be out of hospital - as I really miss her - it's been so long since I've even had a real conversation with her and feel terrible that I'm not there to hold her hand. The idea of ambulances arriving and stuff would scare me to bits, and it scares me even more to think of that happening to her.
Also, I know she's feeling a bit of that anxiety that I'm feeling about the trip - it's coming up so quickly... I thought I'd be slowly counting down the days and now I wish there was more time. Honestly, if anyone deserves this trip it's her, after what she's been through, and after all the extra hours she's put in and crap she's put up with to get here - and for it all to be for nothing - I've resolved to not go without her - she's so much more worthy of that break than I am!
But it's not an issue. I have some faith that her luck will turn, and she'll be back to her old self, albeit slightly more tired self, and be able to go. There's still time.
GO MEGAN GO!!! (Kick that nasty virus' ass!)
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Just saw Kill Bill 2 today (instead of...studying.. for my english exam tomorrow - erg..) - and I totally loved it!! Yeah! Honestly, there's nothing like seeing a really strong woman taking what is normally a man's role and doing something so interesting with it. The Bride really shows how NOT to just accept your situation, but to fight it, even when it seems that you can't go on.
