Thursday, December 16, 2004
"Holidays" suck.
Ok - I've gone from not looking forward to the holidays, to DREADING them. Mine will be consisting of stressed-out lab time during the weekdays in which I'll futilely try to generate some results for my pitiful honours project, horrible boring hours spent with my more evil aspects of my extended family (game plan is to drink a lot and leave early), and countless hours at this computer trying in vain to get into a masters program for next year. Never mind the hours of Christmas shopping I have ahead of me.
I want to crawl in a hole and die - I feel so completely unable to do all of that.
This isn't a new thing for me: ever since I turned - well - 12, I've really hated Christmas and despised New Year's, on principle. They both carry so many expectations with them that it's hard not to get irritated. About the best thing about the last three Christmases was the new LOTR movie coming out, and the time spent with my friends drinking coffee.
I have tried to opt out of Christmas - but this doesn't seem an option. Even for the most a-religious person, you can't escape the frustration and materialism that encompasses the season.
There will be good things, of course. I'm looking forward to seeing more of all of you - something that honestly doesn't happen too much anymore.
I'm not a negative person - I love mostly everything else about other seasons, and can't wait for the snow to melt so that we can get back outside running. Maybe the cold weather has just put a damper on my spirits, or maybe I am the result of a hermit-like existence for two weeks during exams. Or maybe I'm stressed about my exam in 3 hours.
Whatever it is, these holidays, I'm doomed to being frazzled and depressed.
Maybe that's the real "sprit of the season".
Or maybe I'm just growing up - and this is reality.
I want to crawl in a hole and die - I feel so completely unable to do all of that.
This isn't a new thing for me: ever since I turned - well - 12, I've really hated Christmas and despised New Year's, on principle. They both carry so many expectations with them that it's hard not to get irritated. About the best thing about the last three Christmases was the new LOTR movie coming out, and the time spent with my friends drinking coffee.
I have tried to opt out of Christmas - but this doesn't seem an option. Even for the most a-religious person, you can't escape the frustration and materialism that encompasses the season.
There will be good things, of course. I'm looking forward to seeing more of all of you - something that honestly doesn't happen too much anymore.
I'm not a negative person - I love mostly everything else about other seasons, and can't wait for the snow to melt so that we can get back outside running. Maybe the cold weather has just put a damper on my spirits, or maybe I am the result of a hermit-like existence for two weeks during exams. Or maybe I'm stressed about my exam in 3 hours.
Whatever it is, these holidays, I'm doomed to being frazzled and depressed.
Maybe that's the real "sprit of the season".
Or maybe I'm just growing up - and this is reality.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
whee
Whee hee hee - this would be cool...
Death to tinsel-coloured trees!
yes, Shan - race -soon!
Back to it... ahhh philosophy...
Death to tinsel-coloured trees!
yes, Shan - race -soon!
Back to it... ahhh philosophy...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
All the ridiculous parts of life....
I figure I should blog before you assume that I'm dead and start sending bouquets of daffodils to my family.
My week is already insane. I usually plan my study schedule well in advance so that I can take it at a relaxed pace, cover all my material, and still have time for breaks to exercise and nap. However, I had some marking to do, and this ended up taking two entire days (I just got home today) - and I have to go in for a meeting tomorrow. My exams are Thursday and Friday, so things aren't going well. It means a mad dash to the finish: something I absolutely hate, and minimal sleep, another thing I despise. My mom said that now I know how it feels to be a normal student (one who doesn't start their studying insanely early) but bah, I say.
Some interesting things I've learned recently. First, eating locusts - which is something I always thought was important to combat locust plague starvation, is ok! According to the Bible, eating them is encouraged!
Recently, it was made ok for Islamic people to eat locusts as well. I tried to convince the parents that this would make a terrific Christmas dinner but they're not buying it.
It certainly doesn't feel like Christmas at all this year. We're not doing the tree thing probably - and no family get togethers either. I'm pretty relieved in a way - the holidays always bring so much stress rather than joy - (have you MET my family?) I still have to brave the frigging malls though - I think if I wear some shin pads and steel-toed boots I'll have a chance. Also, earmuffs, to drown out the really outdated Kenny-G style Christmas carols.
I wonder if "urge to kill... rising" is a mood.
At least it's pretty outside.
All for later, though. For now, back to studying.
My week is already insane. I usually plan my study schedule well in advance so that I can take it at a relaxed pace, cover all my material, and still have time for breaks to exercise and nap. However, I had some marking to do, and this ended up taking two entire days (I just got home today) - and I have to go in for a meeting tomorrow. My exams are Thursday and Friday, so things aren't going well. It means a mad dash to the finish: something I absolutely hate, and minimal sleep, another thing I despise. My mom said that now I know how it feels to be a normal student (one who doesn't start their studying insanely early) but bah, I say.
Some interesting things I've learned recently. First, eating locusts - which is something I always thought was important to combat locust plague starvation, is ok! According to the Bible, eating them is encouraged!
Recently, it was made ok for Islamic people to eat locusts as well. I tried to convince the parents that this would make a terrific Christmas dinner but they're not buying it.
It certainly doesn't feel like Christmas at all this year. We're not doing the tree thing probably - and no family get togethers either. I'm pretty relieved in a way - the holidays always bring so much stress rather than joy - (have you MET my family?) I still have to brave the frigging malls though - I think if I wear some shin pads and steel-toed boots I'll have a chance. Also, earmuffs, to drown out the really outdated Kenny-G style Christmas carols.
I wonder if "urge to kill... rising" is a mood.
At least it's pretty outside.
All for later, though. For now, back to studying.
