Monday, December 20, 2004
Everything seems suddenly so impermanent. I'm not sure why we try so hard to hold on to things. I don't understand why we are built to want more, when we'll never get that which we want. I don't understand why we are capable of so much but we do much less.
I'm at a point where I can't understand there being a future. I mean, it's not one of these crises where you don't know what you want - I do know what I want in life. I have a huge list of things I plan to do with it. It's just - I don't believe myself when I say I am going to do any of them. I can't actually see anything happening to me. It's like all of those things are in a fiction - and only I know that it's fiction.
I'm at a point where I can't understand there being a future. I mean, it's not one of these crises where you don't know what you want - I do know what I want in life. I have a huge list of things I plan to do with it. It's just - I don't believe myself when I say I am going to do any of them. I can't actually see anything happening to me. It's like all of those things are in a fiction - and only I know that it's fiction.
